On late nights

In which I slip in to bed.

Not much to say tonight. It was either write this or spend some time mindlessly web surfing until exhaustion took hold. The curse and blessing of an over active mind. Bit like a hyper dog, needs walks and constant attention or I'm going to wake up and find important memories chewed up and passwords misplaced. Started a new auditor today. Ate pho tonight. Worked until I couldn't see straight and worked some more.

Aida and I got our passports today - Andrew's should be coming soon. Blonde is still sick from what she tells me, I believe she will seek medical attention tomorrow. Mom's doctor called, levels are lower than they'd like - I'll email them tomorrow for options. Aida is adorable, smart and lovely. Her Oma came to visit today and unprompted, she gave her a kiss. Mental note to self, visit in-laws more often, they are good people and Judita seems most likely candidate to help me with my Lithuanian. Excited by the prospect of spending more time with my father's side of the family, encouraged by the dinner we had on Sunday with my grandparents. Andrew is quite taken by them, I believe coming from such a small family and knowing only one of his grandparents, he is keen to glean the knowledge and worldly wisdom from mine. Looking forward to their hunting trip.

Can hardly type blog - the iPad is lovely but the touch screen is not my friend when I am so tired. I shall bid you rest and fair tidings until tomorrow. Happy April wired world, may it bring peace and happiness.

Blessed be.

Of Spinning Redeption

Song Prompt 2

The sky stretched forever, the way only spring skies can. Moving onward to the mountains across the valley, holding white puffy clouds dotting here and there the intent of a light shower.

Verdant fields rolled with new growth, gaining ground on the patches of winter brown. The air carried the current of atmosphere that caught on the back of the tongue with tangy electricity and he told himself, the top of a mountain probably wasn't where he wanted to be if a storm moved in.

Of Iron

At the end, I gave it less than a twenty percent chance. Less than the chance of rain the following day. Of your phone going to voicemail when I call. The night of wonderful conversation, great food and shared love. A bright percent sign hung around us in the air like snow on Christmas. Facing the future in a moment. Recklessly throwing your life forward. Happy, excited, grateful and laughing. Goodnight, sweet moon, hold us tight.

On Sunday

The sun streams through my kitchen window, hugging my wood floor with warmth. The smell of the carrot cake I am cooking fills the air and my house plants, that prefer my company to the open air outdoors, stretch towards the backdoor.

Banishing sorrow like shadows, the sun of this spring day lifts my sprits with a gentle acceptance. It is not the acceptance of defeat or helplessness. It is the trust that even when bad things happen, horrible things; the sun still comes and winter carries forever the promise of spring.

Glancing to my living room window from my computer desk, I see a rainstorm moving over the roof of the houses across the way. I wonder if I was to walk outside, if I might catch the faint smell of rain.

The scent of cinnamon and carrots and baking, which is a little electric, fills each breath. Soon, my husband will return from his adventures, carrying my daughter and the dog that didn't mind waiting in the car. I can't help but watch the window for their arrival.

Of Thursdays

In which the week nearly ends.

It was a room temperature caramel macchiato that took me an entire day to drink. Followed by the Healthy Choice pasta I nuked for a quick lunch at my computer desk while I managed my department. My eyes were burning, my head tight around the temples and I knew, oh I knew, I need to call it early tonight. I need a recharge before I reuse.

On Disconnect

'Deserve ain't got nothing to do with it."


Oh blog. I wish I could tell you everything. I wish I could lay it all out there. It would be pleasant, I think, for a few. To hand off this weight, shift it to someone else's shoulder. That's one of the hardest parts, I think. I get so angry because I feel so helpless. I'm seven kinds of furious that the world's gone crazy.

Ultimately pointless and helpless. Verging on the point of a pity post again. Wonder how that keeps slipping in here.

Turned on music. Sometimes that helps to write. Other times, a nifty quote at the header can lead the way to deeper places. A picture on occasion will ring a starting bell and off I go. None of that's helping today.

It's a vast rolling sea, turning with a storm. I'm standing on a cliff in a nice, waist length coat watching lightening strike the waves.

I'm grasping straws here. I'm already on the ride.

And there it is. My elusive point.


It'll be ok blog, it honestly will. Some days are harder than others and small things tax you for their time in the lime light. Get it all out of your system now. Cause tomorrow, baby, there's going to be sun.

Of Things Small

Some days have highlights.

I think that most will head to the great unknown with memories of a wedding day, mixed with memories of kids, grandkids, dances, dates, watching the rain storm or roasting marshmallows over a fire.

These aren't the kind of highlights I'm talking about. I'm talking about that flash bulb memory. The one that ignites in you a feeling of awe and comfort. The tiny moment in your day that feels a lot like a visual hug meant only for you.

I'm talking about finding a mushroom in my blackberry plant. The blackberry plant I'm growing in a massive pot inside my kitchen because I was so excited to plant, I did so in my kitchen, weather be damned. I'm not going to lie. I thought it was a piece of trash at first and it wasn't until I went to pluck it off did I, with growing excitement, realize it was indeed the beginnings of what I can only hope is a mushroom forest!

Grow little guy, grow!