Tested

Today's post is a 'what if' blog.

Out of all our friends, we are the only one with kids. Which is a lot like being under house arrest while everyone else runs free. They don't understand the needing to be home for early bedtimes, what it's like to go weeks without sleep cause of a newborn or how much we dread long car rides because Naomi hates the car seat. We so look forward to the day someone else has kids so we can finally share this part of our lives with someone. (Our oldest is turning four, how does no one have kids!?)

Now our very best friends, they recently got married. And we all know, next comes the baby in the baby carriage and I was thrilled when M told me they were finally ready to try.

First month, nothing. Same for month two and three. I swear I probably was watching her cycles closer than she was. 

Here we are in month four and I get this text:

'between you me and the wall, I'm 4 days late'

That was two days ago. Now M has done this in the past, been several days late and several negative tests later, the dreaded Aunt Flo will show and we both will be disappointed. 

This time she has refused to test so far. I think in part she's afraid of seeing another negative like so many other times. But I think this time she's more worried about seeing a positive.

You see, my awesome friend M is going in on Monday to get a biopsy on the lymph nodes in her neck. My very good friend might have cancer and if she does, she will need to undergo aggressive chemo. 

I'm no doctor but I do know chemo and pregnancy can't possibly end well.

This is a lot of 'what ifs'. 

She could be late. She could be pregnant. Those massive lymph nodes could be cancer and I'm not well studied enough on the neck to know what else it could be but it could be something else.

On this Saturday post, I'm playing with the what ifs. I think everyone always prepares for the worst. This time I'm hoping for the best - that our friends join us on our epic parenthood journey and that my BFF doesn't have cancer or anything bad. I know these aren't my calls to make.

So lets add accepting grace on my wish list.

Thoughts and prayers always welcome.

Until next time