Friday, November 30, 2012

22 Weeks

How did it get so late so soon? - Dr Seuss


Today is 22 weeks. That's 5 and a half months.  Time is doing what it does because and sneaking around corners and out of windows.

If this little one was born today, it would have less than a 10% chance of surviving. Gloomy as that sounds, this week marks an important turning point. Every single week - every single day and hour and minute this baby stays inside, it's chances go up and up and up. In a mere two weeks - the amount of time most people take for a vacation - it's chances of survival skyrocket to 70%. The importance of a week at this stage is everything. A day might mean the difference of life and death to developing lungs, racing heart.

It's humbling and amazing.

I can't wait to get to see this baby. And hold it and share it with it's family. My daughter is excited, even if she can't fully understand, somewhere inside she knows that being a big sister is a very important thing and that's why she says it with such pride.

In roughly 126 days, I get to see someone I've never met, but already love with my entire heart and think about all the time.

Love is stunning. I met my husband and he was my world entire. That will always and forever be the case. Yet I met my daughter and my love enfolded her seamlessly and she is my world entire without borrowing any consideration I feel for my husband. And already I love this little one and it too is everything without costing me anything.

Speaking of the little one! It's been very active these past few days. Usually at night, around 9 when I'm laying down relaxing. The curious pokes and rolls as it explores its surroundings makes me smile. I think of an adventurer that has found the end of the world and in their disbelief, kicks it.

After confirming that no more ultrasounds were coming in the foreseeable future, we made the decision to go to a private place for a 3D ultrasound. Excited to see this baby again and maybe, if the stars align and lady luck is smiling on us, the baby will show us the goods and we'll know what pronoun to address it as.

Pretty much everyone but my mom, me and Andrew think boy. Random strangers have told me boy. Most the myths point to boy. Another strong reason to go find out the gender. I have sold myself on it's a girl and if that doesn't turn out to be the case, I need adjusting time.

I always get asked, do I want a boy or girl - the honest truth is I don't have a preference. I'll take either with the same excitement. Girl would be easier as we already have all the clothing and we know how to raise a girl thus far but a boy would be a great adventure too.

Again, I really don't mind. I want healthy, happy, fatty little baby to bring home. Gender is so far down on my list of wants for this child, it's little past a curious desire to know.

I had a huge dinner with my sister and Mike. I am very happy right now and getting sleepy. Aida is trying out her first sleep over at her aunts and uncles house and I think, Andrew is out with his friend celebrating his upcoming wedding and I think I might take advantage of the quiet and go lay in my raft. (The HUGE pregnancy pillow that takes up half the bed and worth every inch).

Until tomorrow blog! 

Thursday, November 29, 2012

21 weeks, 6 days

Exit, perused by a bear - Shakespeare 


Finally! After a three day wait, the nurse called me tonight and said the ultrasound came back perfect. Baby is looking great. The only thing missing was the gender. 

Meaning no more ultrasounds for us unless something new crops up.

I might pay to have one done to figure out the mystery gender. I'm on the fence. On one hand, I'd love to know - it's another element to bond with. On the other, that sure would be great motivation went I went in to labor, the excitement of finding out what the little one was.

I have plenty of time to decide. 

Still tired blog. I was hoping after a good nights sleep, I would be more alert and ready to go today but I have been battling this fatigue and even though it's only 5:30, I could turn in right now. Maybe this is due to the pregnancy? I'll give it another few days.

I thought I had more to write about but all I can think of right now is filling my stomach and finding somewhere comfy to lay down.

So for tonight, my very short blog.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

21 Weeks, 5 Days

Everything worth doing is exhausting

Today was rough blog. Down and out rough.

I got a call from the nurse on the long awaited ultra sound results at about 9 am. She only called to tell me that my doctor had the results but wasn't in the office and that she would have to call the hospital and get the results re-sent. She would call me back.

She didn't.

If that wasn't frustrating enough, I feel bone-tired. If I'm not thinking about work, I'm thinking about school. If I'm not stressing about school, I'm looking after my awesome (but energetic) three year old. Or I'm cleaning up the house If I'm not doing any of the above I have just enough time to go, 'oh yeah, I'm five months' pregnant' and go seeking the nearest comfy thing to sleep on.

Today was one of those days where all the areas of my life traffic-jammed on their way for my attention. I feel spread thin. I feel worn out.

I am fairly sure I'm still in that safe spot in the second trimester where the exhaustion of carrying around a full term baby isn't weighing down on me so I can identify this as exactly what it is - a very busy, mentally exhausting day.

I did get my school work done. Now I have this weekend and next week to finish up my finals and bring home the gold.

I have to get all the paperwork together for my daughter's appointment on the 12th.

I have to finish out this week at work and do my very best to keep my department happy and strong.

And I should probably call my doctor again on Friday and track down those ultrasound results. Cause I am really curious dang it.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

21 Weeks, 4 Days

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life. - Oscar Wilde


Today started with a call to my doctor. Back on October 30th, we had our mega ultrasound. I feel like everything went well. The woman conducting it was extremely nice, took a lot of pictures and besides not being able to get the baby to uncross it's legs, seemed like a very positive routine visit.

But you know how it is. You want your doctor to call you and assure you that those ten fingers and toes were in all the right places.

Having not heard back and it being almost a month later, I bugged them. Turns out they didn't get the results back from the hospital and they had some bugging of their own to do - but I was told I should hear back from them Monday/Tuesday. 

I called the office and was put on hold for a very, very long time. After which the receptionist came back and informed me I would have to speak to my doctor or a nurse about the results. I figure this is standard practice?

My day continued on, no call. At three, I couldn't wait any longer and called again. Again put on hold and again told that I needed to speak with my doctor or a nurse but she would put a note in to have them call me tomorrow.

Again, I figure this is standard practice? No news is good news, right? If there was something terribly important, they would have called me - right?

I figure worse case, I have to go back and get something remeasured. That happens. Blurry pic of this or that, they want to take a second look. I'm not getting myself worried right now because I stand by the fact if it was something major or serious, that call would have been made right away and I would know by now.

Right? Right.

Ah waiting.

I did really good on the no sugar today up till the end. I had a bagel, some oatmeal and a very awesome dinner for my mom's 50th. That I just had to top off with some chocolate cake. I am excusing this and not counting it as breaking my diet because come on! It's bday cake!

Little one hasn't been very active these last few days. After that night of kicking my husband's hand for a good stretch, little guy kinda went quiet on me. It's possible their facing the wrong way. They still have a bit of room to swim so again, waiting and not worrying about it till I get closer to 24 weeks when those kicks should be pretty solid.

So that's it blog. Today finds me waiting. Happy and full of great food and feeling positive about tomorrow.


Monday, November 26, 2012

21 Weeks, 3 Days

'Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants' - Lynda Montgomery



 Today's topic is about cravings.

It all started last night when I was watching Food Network - this channel should be illegal for pregnant women because it introduces us to food cravings we probably wouldn't have ever had. For example, one would-be iron chef made a delicious bite of homemade pasta with anchovy sauce that has been burning in my brain ever since. 

So when I came home tonight and saw my dearest husband cooking up some of his famous spice rubbed pork chops, he must have read the slight disappointment on my face.

Because I wanted PASTA. Nay, I CRAVED PASTA. 

Craving is a want wrapped up in a physical need. It starts at the base of your spine and radiates outwards a sunset caught fire. Until everything else tastes like ash on your tongue. The mere thought of eating anything but the craved food seems flat and boring. It's oatmeal compared to a rich, lovingly prepared dinner.

Or in this case PASTA.


Pasta that my darling husband boldly made a special trip to the store for. With but a kiss of endearment on my forehead and a look of slight confusion over why it had to be PASTA, but fetching it all the same because he just loves me that much.

Mark that up as number three thing I struggle to make non-pregnant people understand, the first two being extreme moods (crying at Google commercials) and what it feels like to have the baby move.

I can't explain why some times you wake up and you need a watermelon. Or a pickle. It's just the way it is.

Oh! Before I forget, day two of no-sugar is going good! I had no sugary treats today. So yay for taking things one day at a time.

In other news - I believe strongly in the power of 'ignore' but everyday it's getting harder to pretend. This marks two days in a row I've had to reach for the Tums. And unless this baby is going to decide to come out bald, it's going to likely escalate. With my first I had constant heartburn towards the end, regardless of what I ate or took.

For now, I'm going to continue to ignore because you never know. Mind over acid and the like.




Sunday, November 25, 2012

21 Weeks, 2 Days

Today, as the title implies, I am 21 weeks and 2 days. Yesterday was the most active this little one has ever been. So active, in fact, that when my darling husband placed his hand on my stomach for nightly cuddles - the little one went crazy and started kicking at his hand. He even felt a few of the stronger kicks! I remember this happening with Aida too. I'm not sure how they know it's their dad's hand but his touch is like a little wake up alarm and they are eager for his attention. People who haven't been pregnant ask me what it's like to have something growing inside you. What it's like to feel it kick and turn and flip. At first, it's like feeling your heartbeat in your stomach or a muscle twitch. A movement you don't control and may hardly notice. I can't think of a good example for when they are bigger and tap dancing their way across your insides. It's the very best part of being pregnant I think because there's nothing else like it. I'm a little late in the game getting in to a pregnancy blog. Here I am though! Admire the late comer, writing away. Snacking on my bowl of flavorless, steel cut oats and dreading the three exams I have to take for school today. Blonde and I are trying to do a no-sugar change in our diets. This is mostly prompted by Thanksgiving overload and also my very frantic desire to stay extremely healthy this pregnancy and only gain weight as needed. I've gained about ten pounds so far. I'm perfectly ok with gaining as much as this little one needs but not ok with gaining weight because I couldn't avoid a pie. I can avoid a pie! Well, I mean, I haven't so far. But today is a new day! A day of no sugar! Since this is my first post in what I will hopefully update more often, here is the reader's digest on this pregnancy. Got it the very first try. Clearly remember, it was July 14th. I know exactly when I ovulate, no test needed. Thank you very much mother nature for giving me extremely fertile genes on both sides of the old family tree. I had absolutely no morning sickness. For the first time ever, I finally understand how someone could go for months and months and not know they are pregnant. I actually felt better and had more energy in those starting months than I usually do. Still do. This is a symptom-less pregnancy. Couldn't find out gender. Little one had their legs crossed tight on the big day and didn't feel like moving. Unsure if we will get another one. My doctor is going to look at ultrasound results in the next week and see if we need to go back for another scan for any reason. If we do, we will likely find out gender - little one will be too big to hide, ha. If we don't, we'll find out on the big day. If we do need another ultrasound, I'm really hoping we can go the first week of January and not sooner. They aren't cheap and I want every dime possible to go to the deductible on my delivery. And that's me for now! I'm going fight to keep my no sugar diet and go study for those exams. It's been a lot easier to go back to school and be pregnant, work full time and have a three year old than I thought it would be. "You don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.' - Unknown.