22 Weeks

How did it get so late so soon? - Dr Seuss

Today is 22 weeks. That's 5 and a half months.  Time is doing what it does because and sneaking around corners and out of windows.

If this little one was born today, it would have less than a 10% chance of surviving. Gloomy as that sounds, this week marks an important turning point. Every single week - every single day and hour and minute this baby stays inside, it's chances go up and up and up. In a mere two weeks - the amount of time most people take for a vacation - it's chances of survival skyrocket to 70%. The importance of a week at this stage is everything. A day might mean the difference of life and death to developing lungs, racing heart.

It's humbling and amazing.

I can't wait to get to see this baby. And hold it and share it with it's family. My daughter is excited, even if she can't fully understand, somewhere inside she knows that being a big sister is a very important thing and that's why she says it with such pride.

In roughly 126 days, I get to see someone I've never met, but already love with my entire heart and think about all the time.

Love is stunning. I met my husband and he was my world entire. That will always and forever be the case. Yet I met my daughter and my love enfolded her seamlessly and she is my world entire without borrowing any consideration I feel for my husband. And already I love this little one and it too is everything without costing me anything.

Speaking of the little one! It's been very active these past few days. Usually at night, around 9 when I'm laying down relaxing. The curious pokes and rolls as it explores its surroundings makes me smile. I think of an adventurer that has found the end of the world and in their disbelief, kicks it.

After confirming that no more ultrasounds were coming in the foreseeable future, we made the decision to go to a private place for a 3D ultrasound. Excited to see this baby again and maybe, if the stars align and lady luck is smiling on us, the baby will show us the goods and we'll know what pronoun to address it as.

Pretty much everyone but my mom, me and Andrew think boy. Random strangers have told me boy. Most the myths point to boy. Another strong reason to go find out the gender. I have sold myself on it's a girl and if that doesn't turn out to be the case, I need adjusting time.

I always get asked, do I want a boy or girl - the honest truth is I don't have a preference. I'll take either with the same excitement. Girl would be easier as we already have all the clothing and we know how to raise a girl thus far but a boy would be a great adventure too.

Again, I really don't mind. I want healthy, happy, fatty little baby to bring home. Gender is so far down on my list of wants for this child, it's little past a curious desire to know.

I had a huge dinner with my sister and Mike. I am very happy right now and getting sleepy. Aida is trying out her first sleep over at her aunts and uncles house and I think, Andrew is out with his friend celebrating his upcoming wedding and I think I might take advantage of the quiet and go lay in my raft. (The HUGE pregnancy pillow that takes up half the bed and worth every inch).

Until tomorrow blog!